...I finally had my Ah ha moment last night...
Tonight will be my first night to go to bed this week before 2:00am. On many levels this is ridiculous and self-torture but all the reasons to stay up were for things for work that had to be done or stuff around my house that just made me feel normal.
I know I'm not the best at saying no but in the past there has never been a reason to give less than an affirmative response to tasks. Recently it has seemed to take a greater toll on my attitude and adorable pink faux crocodile Mom Agenda planner.
This morning, after having gone to bed at 4:00 and waking up at 6:00, I woke up shaky and sick feeling. I had Andrew drive the babe to Ms. Charnna's so I could try to get my act together and head up to school to prepare for my classes and a very successful and fun pep rally (sidenote: my Stuco officers and reps are pretty amazing so Summer and I have the pleasure of relaxing at the pep rallies and enjoying them instead of worrying about things going wrong). I told Andrew I could tell my sleep deprivation was going to cause me to do something less an intelligent and let me just tell you that would turn out to be an understatement....
I essentially caught my hand on fire. Yes people, you read it right, I am not making this up. I was complaining to one of my principals about a neon wayfarer issue while working on stuff for the mascots. Big Dog (the blow up mascot) run on batteries that look like ones for the car. I needed to charge them and in my sleep-walk mode put the wrong leads on the metal parts (I obviously no nothing about names of battery parts). I immediately felt this hot rush up my hand and arm, then proceeded to watch a little flame ball rise and smoke going everywhere. I am totally fine but spent a good 20 minutes scrubbing black smoke marks off my face, hands and chest. Ha!!! What a disaster!! It sort of reminded me of two weeks ago when I almost burned down the Greer's beautiful new home with my s'more cobbler. Just like in that case where Gary saved the day, luckily Mr. Rollins was there to dissolve the situation and then we proceeded to laugh for a few minutes. Lack of sleep causes the inability to decipher black from red...wow...
So anyways, nothing like a little pyrotechnics on a rainy Thursday afternoon.
I guess now it makes sense to get to the whole Ah ha moment thing.
Last night Miller woke up about 2:00am. Usually this is a very dissapointing thing but since I had been gone all night I was admitingly glad to have the opportunity to put his paci in and pat his sweet little Budha belly. This did not quiet him and he continued to fuss for about 10 minutes (which is an eternity in mom world). I got him out of his crib and sat down to rock him. As I kissed his sweet little face he took his arm and wrapped it around my neck, hugged it tight and stayed that way until he fell asleep. I just sort of welled up and took it as the moment I have been needing, the one that says it's time to slow it down. It's truly amazing to me that the wisdom of a 20 lb bundle of fantastic and not the years of conversations with family, is what it took for me to see the light. And I guess if that didn't make it clear enough, the mascot battery did. Thanks Baby Boy for taking care of your crazy momma!! I love you dearly!!!
Sidenote: Took this picture today and have posted it on every social media known to man.
Do you think there is a term for psycho-FB/Instagram/Blogging mom? I will have to check urbandictionary.com
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